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Epic Booty Defense

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Epic Booty Defense


This weekend my girlfriend and I attended a wedding which began with a typical celebration in a banquet hall with DJ of questionable music taste and selection.  After the party ended and we moved to a nightclub to continue the celebration.

The night ensued with heavy drinking, ridiculous dancing and smoking of cigars.  The music was good (props to DJ Seize), the vibes were positive so we let the good times roll. Most of us were still wearing our wedding gear so it was easy to spot all the people in our party. My girlfriend was wearing a sweet red dress that gave compliments to her irresistible booty.

I’m not sure how I spotted the whole situation, but I remember I saw him, who we’ll call “the Violator,”  coming from a few feet away.   The Violator was moving towards our general direction, he was wearing a tux which made me believe he was in our party, although I did not know him personally.  My girlfriend and I were standing in a tight space, between two tables, where people could just barely squeeze by one another.   I had one arm around my girlfriend, she was facing me and could not see behind her.

Defend the booty with both hands!

So there we were, my girl and I, tight space, the Violator moving closer and that’s when something in my mind clicked.  I thought to myself ‘block the booty!’  Without hesitation I executed my plan – I placed my hand far and wide across her assets.   Just in time too because as the Violator passed by I felt his hand land right on top of mine.  And there we were, practically holding hands right on top of my girlfriend’s ass.   ‘Epic booty defense,’ I thought and the Violator realizing what just happened, looked at me and said something like, “Sorry bro, mad respect.”

I just smiled, laughed, and watched him scurry away with his tail between his legs and his head down to the ground.

What is the value of a booty squeeze?  Later, when the Violator is all alone in his hotel room panning for white gold, will he have gathered enough material that night to drive the skin bus to it’s final destination?

That night my girlfriend had no idea that any of this happened.  We talked about it later and shared some laughs and I was surprised to find how often this actually happens to women at the club. Although I doubt I will ever repeat a similar epic defense of the booty, I will be more aware of sketchy violators attempting to get a hand full of my girl’s ass at the nightclub.

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