La Jolla Night Life Reflections

Reflections on a La Jolla nightlife venue that will open soon by our resident funny man night club reviewer:

Finally! After untimely demise of the “magnet of all things retarded” – Jacks, dull La Jolla nightlife is getting an injection of fresh cougar excitement.

As soon as we walk through the door, two things become apparent. This place has the best of both worlds. Tables for food, and dance floor for dancing. Yes, you read it correctly. You can eat and dance your heart out without leaving the building, and maybe even at the same time, even though I would not recommend it, in order to avoid puncturing a random silicone breast with your fork.

But if you are here to just get shit-faced, I have good news for you. This place has a bar! Yes, a REAL bar! With ALCOHOL! So you can watch your favorite teams failure, while giving your liver a serious workout and preparing it for the next day’s hangover. To keep up with the best La Jolla tradition, please add extra $5 to the usual price of each drink. Add $3 for a glass of water.

Wait… what am I missing? Oh, the DJ booth. From the looks of it, and giving the geographical location of the establishment, this fine equipment will see solid red lights on its EQ’s and feel the touch of greasy hands of many local hip-hop and Russian pop-music DJ’s and guaranteed to make your ears bleed with sounds coming out of its state-of-the-art sound system. Please work on your fist-pumping technique before you get here.

photo by Alex Foley

For the lovers of nature, BarFly will feature live indoor/outdoor African safari, where you will be able to observe real cougars in their natural habitat and get familiar with the excitement that surrounds their hunt, culminating with a feast on warm flesh of their willing prey. If you are lucky, a real cat fight could also be witnessed.

Please do not come looking like a douche in a plain t-shirt. Christian Audigier and Ed Hardy attire is highly desirable. For less fortunate, Allfiction is accepted, but you may have to bribe a bouncer.

I do not know about you, but I am looking forward to a night of dancing with a fork in my hand.